Rocks ahead in marriage or partnerships, smooth sailing if you know this…
We’ve heard all the cliches, seen all the rom-coms and heard the rumors about “love on the rocks” and the “rocky roads” that relationships and marriages seem to inevitably hit.
We’ve watched the rise and fall of celebrity relationships and heard all the gossip in the media about it.
We’ve known some people who have had trouble or “hit the skids” in their relationship and have seen all manner of couples issues, some from afar while others a little closer to home.
We may have even had a few of those experiences ourselves, past or present, and some may expect them in the future. Still, others have lost faith in relationships altogether.
There were over 600 thousand divorces in the US a couple of years back in testament to it all, and one report that same year revealed that 50 percent of marriages resorted to counseling.
It’s ironic that an unbreakable foundation portrayed as a “bedrock” of love and affection can end up “on the rocks” and broken, yet we see examples of it every day.
Does this mean we’re doomed from the moment we take interest in another? Is it over before it began? Do we really “don’t” when we say “I do”?
It turns out that the answer depends not upon endlessly trying to figure out what makes relationships fail, but on what makes an ideal one succeed. Knowing the components of an optimum relationship, you have all you need to know to succeed and even what to do when you drift into rockier waters.
Find out the components of a successful relationship and problems in those relationships become obvious. More importantly, they become simple to handle without need for years of endless “he-said-she-said” counseling.
After all, which would you rather know, a method of coping with a broken relationship, or the secret to building a solid, unbreakable one in the first place?
The choice is clear, but what is the secret to a successful marriage or relationship?
What keeps marriages and relationships off the rocks?
There is really only one guiding principle you can state about this…
If it were true that you’re doomed from the start and things are “over before they begin”, 100% of relationships or marriages would fail.
Period.
Clearly, 100% don’t fail. Whether it’s immediately apparent or not, even you have likely seen some successful ones.
Perhaps you’ve even wondered, “What makes THEM so special? How did THEY make it work when others can’t seem to?” “Why do some succeed while others fail?”
Just as an expert navigator never runs a ship into shallow, rocky waters, neither does someone who knows what successful relationships consist of end up “on the rocks”.
But who knows all about the anatomy of a successful relationship?
The short answer? EVERYONE!
The “secret” components are so obvious, you already ‘know’ them…
The foremost surprise when you restore a couple’s successful relationship is that its makeup turns out to be something they always knew. So obvious they never would have suspected.
In a word? Communication…
I mean, “duh!”, right? Anyone knows this.
But why do couples start out with a lot of it and shatter on the rocks for the lack of it?
What makes communication die?
NOW you’re talking about the real stuff of how to fix a relationship.
What happens to ‘smooth-sailing’ communication that makes it run aground?
While there are endless combinations of possible communication breakdowns, there are only a few simple, specific types of them that cause the rock-solid communication barriers that smash to bits any hopes of a successful union.
While many proclaimed relationship experts cite things like disagreements, misunderstanding, jealousy, trust, compromise, infidelity, and compatibility being the “reasons” for failure, seldom do examining these or finding these faults in a partner ever produce the result of a happy marriage.
Nor does the opinion or evaluation given by a third-party “expert” seem to make things any better. Has finding out YOU are at fault, guilty or in the wrong ever made you feel better toward another? This, in the end, can often be little better in result than arguing.
Have you ever felt great about having lost an argument?
Besides, weren’t arguments the problem with the relationship in the first place?
All relationships started with some good communication…
This is a given. Take any relationship or marriage. There was definitely some mutual love and admiration, affinity and even adoration of one for the other in both directions.
But why stop communicating if it is already so amazing?
Here is where “communication-breaking” factors enter. This is what enshrouds the problem in mystery. We know we decrease or stop communication altogether but, what specifically would make that happen?
The answer to that is an even more adventurous undertaking than the marriage itself!
We use several manuals in our counseling that define and explain these in great detail.
Without them, you’re steering a ship through waters with rocks unseen in your path.
These “rocks” are ever present but can be predicted and avoided if known about.
They have to do with the basic definitions and purposes of marriages and relationships. They generally include things like changes in agreements and circumstances, changes in direction of purpose and especially agreements broken (however subtly) by BOTH parties and not one or the other.
They even include outside influences from others not recognizable by either party.
The list goes on but the base understanding of what made the relationship strong and successful in the first place is really the key to revealing all else.
But these occur in very specific ways and require exactness of process on how to locate them. Once located they alleviate.
Counseling that focuses on these specific factors is bound for success and is why we have had so many people fix their marriages, with full love and affection restored, in a much shorter time than years of “couples therapy” one uncomfortable session at a time.
This is the approach that works in the face of even numerous failed attempts. The previous tries failed not because of destiny or incompatibility, but because of a lack of finding the true cause of the breakdown. Neither “living with it” or “coping strategies” work in the long run.
Locating precisely the “rocks” and how couples end up there does!
Love on the rocks, or rock-solid love of your life?
It’s always the choice. But it’s clear which is the better one.
Even couples who have thought they “grew too far apart” or “want different things” or have “changed” since the original relationships have found the hidden factors which were the actual cause and suddenly realized the relationship wasn’t doomed or over.
For most of them, a new era of their relationship has begun, with more love restored than had been originally present in many cases. These are the reports we get back from people who have solved their marital difficulties in as little as a week using this process.
The point is that, until these specific factors are isolated and discovered, you’re going to end up with results like strategic coping, blame-placing, fault-finding and “compromise” as the only “solutions” in therapy.
While you could call this a “success” of sorts, why settle when you can find the exact deviations from the true communication that once existed and restore it?
Our marriage counseling program does just that and doesn’t take years of therapy to accomplish it. It sorts out how things ended up by tracing them back to where they began and looking for the specific changes which steered them astray.
A ship may smash into millions of pieces on rocky shores, unrepairable, but “love on the rocks” can be restored to all of its original splendor, simply, effectively, and easily in a much more reasonable amount of time.
It’s happening every day. Can it happen for you?
Only if you’re willing to take a look at these things.
Are you?
It just starts with a call or email…
For help with your “rocky” relationship, or to inquire about helping someone you know repair theirs, reach out via text or call at (727) 216-5504 or email at commsuccess.pam@gmail.com for a free discussion and assessment of the situation.
