From intolerable to adorable, frantically stressed to peacefully blessed, and from a hot mess to cool and at your best, there are many facets to what you might consider to be your personality, the collection of traits you assume to be you.

Identifying with all of it, you have an overall presence you present to the world, for better or worse, depending on what day it is, what “triggers” you encounter and what situations you find yourself in.

Will you react or fly off the handle today? Might you become impatient, intolerant and downright short of temper? Will you be insecure or incapable, or maybe think a few thoughts you don’t want?

Or will you attack your day, confront the problems before you, be at your finest and triumph finally at the top of your game?

In all likelihood, any given day can present a varied “version” of you. And, all would be fine if it were just you in the world. No matter your mood, your erratic behavior, your demeanor or your drive, without others around, what would it matter?

When you realize, however, that you have to communicate with others to cooperatively endeavor, you will instantly discover obvious relevance for your personality: INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS!

Life could, in fact, be considered a journey through time, marked by communication and cooperative endeavors with others who can influence you in many ways.

But with all the personal influences you may experience, can some of them rub off on you? Could they stack up, accumulate and become your own, gradually obscuring the real you? Is it possible to eventually lose yourself and become a collage of “others’ personalities”?

If you consider the seemingly permanent impressions some experiences in life can have on you, it’s clear others’ personalities can play a role.

But, finding their source, they can be peeled back, revealing more and more layers of the inherent, naturally creative and happy qualities of you. And you can accomplish this easily if you know the following specifics of how it can be done.

Does it ever feel like someone else is motivating your actions?

Your personality. Your identity.

Your thoughts, actions and reactions.

Are they all you?

You may think so, but, when you consider the collective, innumerable personalities you come into contact with in one lifetime, you recognize many can have an undue influence over your behavior. And, sometimes you may even get a feeling you’re not being yourself but, rather, a collection of “them”.

But if they’re not ALL you, which parts ARE you?

Surely many of us have acted a certain way and thought, “Goodness! That was just like my dad!” followed by the question “Where in the world did THAT come from?”

Clearly, certain types of experiences (especially negative or traumatic ones) can leave indelible “marks” on you, making it rather obvious that they included other people, and that even their personalities can become “part of you”, expressing themselves in “replay” as part of your personality, fooling even you!

What does it really mean when someone becomes ‘the voice inside your head’?

Could there be personalities you’ve encountered and taken on that lay beneath your ability to recall them? Is it possible you have collected and put into play a few personalities you didn’t consciously know about? They can and, certainly, for them to remain in play, such personalities would HAVE to at least remain hidden to have any force over you. And, the more hidden the influence, the more detrimental it is to get along in life.

Commonly, someone in your life can become “the voice inside your head”, guiding you through life’s trials, twists, turns and even triumphs. Often cherished and considered their “conscience”, these “voices” can become a stable influence on people for navigating existence. But these have been consciously chosen and could be said to be “controllable” influences.

Conversely, the hidden influences, the voices you “hear” aren’t the conscious advice you got from your mom, your aunt, your uncle or your favorite teacher.

These “voices” aren’t voices at all, but are what you consider to be your thoughts, driving or motivating you, considered to be part of your personality.

But are they your thoughts?

What if an impulsive thought you had wasn’t your thought at all but someone else’s remark you may have picked up, inadvertently being replayed for some unexplained, illogical reason?

Here is where the real danger can enter into the equation, another “voice” interfering with your mental computations, disguising itself as YOU!

Who IS the real you?

While we all have our own, distinct personalities, purposes and interests, there are some important traits common to all.

Perhaps the most overlooked is the blueprint for your mind. Your mind has a purpose to serve you and assist you to navigate safely through life. It is designed to inherently work WITH you in every way, not AGAINST you.

In university, though you may study the minds that work AGAINST you, the so-called “abnormalities” of personality, nowhere is “normality” defined, nor is the mind, its structure, mechanics or its intended use and purpose.

But, how could you learn anything about malfunction unless you first understood optimum function? Could you fix a broken object if you didn’t know how it was SUPPOSED TO WORK?

As a result, these malfunctions have remained a complete mystery, that is, until the middle 20th century when someone finally had the foresight to ask the simple question “What is the mind SUPPOSED TO DO?”. All of which allowed the problems of the mind to unfold, making the resolution of these “hidden personalities” possible.

Isolated and understood, there YOU turned out to be, beneath all the complexities and distortions, the layers of “masks” concealing a useful mind with which you were natively endowed, empowering you to do your best in every way and tackle any problem of life as you see fit!

Consequences of hidden influences on your decisions…

Your own power of choice is of vital importance to making good, informed decisions in any given circumstance. And, in the face of direct opposition, you can likely hold your own and be true to what you believe is the right decision or action. Opposition is easily resisted when it is known. But if you’re receiving unconscious “advice” on what to do, you may make decisions you wouldn’t have otherwise and believe them to be yours, even when they seem illogical.

Automatic reactions motivated by hidden influences play out, robotically, the same way each time, eliminating judgment from the situation. They “play” like your favorite song when you call it up to listen. Each time you play the song, it is unchanged, exactly as the artist recorded it. And it will play the same recording no matter where you play it or when, even if at an inappropriate time.

These “personalities” play like these songs. The response is always the same, excluding your judgment, estimation and computation. With the real you buried deep beneath all these masks, you can’t assess the situation and your response will play out automatically, even if it doesn’t fit the current situation.

Can you see the danger in that?

The REAL YOU doesn’t need the ‘ARTIFICIAL YOU’S’!

Imagine wearing a mask that is thin, lightweight, looks and feels completely natural and that is actually not one, but hundreds of layers deep.

But there you exist in spite of it, however unaware, imprisoned behind the bars of the masks you have always thought of as “you”, obscuring the best of you that you may likely have caught an occasional glimpse of “on a good day”.

These “artificial you’s” are not the guiding “voice inside your head” steering you in the right direction. They are blocking your native knowledge and ability to always choose the right direction.

Parasitic of your mind’s capabilities, you clearly don’t need these burdensome layers of artificiality, unless, of course, you’re planning a career in Hollywood or on stage! But, even then, you’d want to be the one, behind the scenes, KNOWINGLY controlling the show!

How can you stop living others’ lives and start living yours?

If hidden personalities are so occluded that you aren’t even consciously aware of them, how can you possibly remove them and reveal the real you?

Merely coping or living with it would mean giving in. You would be allowing the situation to perpetuate itself by just accepting it as who you are, something most people already do. Yet it is insufficient for any sustainable happiness in life. Indeed, you would need an optimum method to undo it.

It would require 5 simple things you would need to discover including:

1. the definition of the ideal mind, its intended purpose, structure, function, etc.,
2. differentiation of “you” from “not you”, (reality vs artificiality),
3. application of the laws of cause and effect to observe the true source of these issues,
4. how negative experiences can accumulate and change personality over a period of time,
5. personal observation of and realization about them, as distinguished from another’s evaluation.

If you could understand the real, intended function of the mind, you would instantly spot malfunction. Should you recognize that, over time, negative experiences can accumulate, you would realize how a gradual build-up of such unwanted “personalities” is possible and could even free yourself from them. And, if you could somehow look for yourself, without anyone else’s evaluative influence, you could regain your inherent power to make decisions for yourself and free yourself from any observed artificialities.

And that would be the definition of the true happiness at the center of you.

But does this ideal methodology exist?

Thankfully, more than 70 years ago, someone asked the right question, “What is the purpose of the human mind?” and then proceeded to develop a strategy to unleash its true potential and free it from all that inhibits its function, reducing it by as much as ninety percent!

Since then, this has led to resolving the problems of the mind, easily and personally in a relatively short time, using a brief instruction manual and guide to understanding and unlocking the mind’s true potential, some 90% more of it than was previously accessible.

Why “live with” or “manage” the issues you have blocking your potential when you can find out how to unlock and use it?

Want to learn how to do it? Here’s where you start…

Take the master your mind self-test here and get a free evaluation or you can just call to inquire at (727) 216-5504 or email CommSuccess.Pam@gmail.com

Ask how you can use it to recoup abilities you not only thought you’d lost but didn’t even know you had!

Demons.

Everyone’s heard of them. Most have talked about them. Some have wrestled and fought them. Still, others spend a lifetime living with them.

They are very personal and a little different for each person, and they can seem to be a “built-in” part of you, a natural part of thinking and the mind.

You may have experienced them in yourself or others. Doubts, insecurities and unwanted thoughts. They can shatter self-confidence and keep you from being your “best self”.

And, though you might keep them to yourself, they often rear their ugly head in outward appearances, making them other people’s demons (and problems) too!

But, do such “evil spirits” in fact exist in your mind, working against your best efforts to just be you? Are they destined to be an indelible part of you?

That depends on what approach you take to looking at them. They don’t have to be if you know one thing very thoroughly:

It’s not about WHAT THEY ARE, but WHO YOU ARE!

Are you doomed to be at the beck and call of your inner demons?

You may have dismissed them as, simply, “part of your personality” or one of your “quirks” or idiosyncrasies. Perhaps you have even identified with them or have been encouraged to do so.

But, are they a part of the real you?

And, if they aren’t, are YOU still in there somewhere, buried beneath them?

You may have wondered whether these demons are native residents or unwanted guests. But the latter makes more sense if you begin to understand the problem from a more logical approach.

The understanding comes, not from what’s wrong, but from what’s right.

The answer is not about getting to the bottom of what’s wrong with your thinking, your thoughts or your mind. It’s in answering the question, “What is the human mind SUPPOSED TO do?”

Find this answer, and the problem unfolds before your eyes.

What are your native traits? Finding yourself…

Everyone talks about problems, issues, demons, stresses and struggles and seeks to tackle, fight, or counteract them. But what are they fighting and why?

Having only learned “Psychology” in college, largely composed of “abnormalities” of human behavior, the constructs of the human mind remain a mystery.

But how can any useful and practical study of something exclude the structure, function and purpose of the very thing to which it’s being applied?

If you were going to be a mechanic and wanted to repair automobiles, wouldn’t you need to primarily understand “working cars” before you could attempt to diagnose one, let alone fix it?

If you were a civic engineer and needed to resolve a problem with a roadway, wouldn’t you need to understand what a roadway is for, what its function and ideal structure are before you could address any malfunctions with it?

Do you know those traits you once had and have lost, ones you perhaps wish you had back? The happiness you once felt that was yours inherently? These are a condition of an optimally-functioning mind. Everything else, the doubts, fears and unwanted thoughts, is just a manifestation of malfunction.

But, in absence of knowledge of the ideal, optimum state of something, how could you ever possibly hope to do anything about it, let alone WITH it?

So, the right question to ask is:

How is your mind supposed to operate in the ideal?

What is it supposed to do for you? And, for that matter, where do you exist beneath all of this?

Hello? Are you still in there?

So, are inner demons part of you or have they turned you “inside out”?

There is a simple answer…

More than 70 years ago, someone finally had the foresight to ask the question no one in 100 years of Psychology had posed:

What is the mind, what is its purpose and how is it SUPPOSED TO function?

That discovery led to finding out what actually makes us tick, what motivates us and how the mind is supposed to work in our favor and not against us.

It was then that the solution to problems of the mind was finally able to be understood and addressed, permanently and without further need to “cope”.

“Demons” were then exposed, explained and comprehended.

And not just by an “intelligent few” but anyone, anywhere, with no formal education required other than a simple understanding of the basic anatomy of the human mind.

These demons, isolated and understood, and the mind explained, someone is found beneath it all: That person is YOU.

And the solution to digging yourself out is at hand.

Indeed, you can actually sort things out and distinguish “you” from “not you” by understanding how your mind is supposed to work. And you can, yourself, work veritable miracles with that information alone.

You would, however, need to take an ideal approach to get there.

The ideal approach to getting rid of demons…

Don’t want to have to live with the demons living inside you? You’ll need an optimum solution that takes into account the real, underlying cause.

The ideal way of righting the situation would involve several components.

First, you would need to understand the mind, its basic mechanics, what its intended use is and how it should operate in the ideal. After all, if you don’t know its ideal or optimum state, how could you ever even know anything is wrong with it?

It’s like a person who goes to “auto mechanic school” only to study broken-down cars!

This has been the age-old problem of only addressing abnormalities. It doesn’t lead to resolution and, there are so many of them, they begin to seem normal. After that, nothing ever seems to be wrong.

If you understand what’s normal first, however, you can instantly see what’s not.

Next, you would need to grasp that, if something starts out in its optimum condition and becomes problematic, it is a matter of cause and effect. Something occurred, a cause, and later in time, the effects were manifest.

With this knowledge in hand, the ideal approach would then have to include plotting a sort of timeline to trace issues back in time to their causes. This would be a MUST for resolving any issue permanently.

After that, you would have to evolve your understanding that the problem is impermanent and could be fixed for good. Coping would cease to be the goal, and efforts at relieving the problem would be replaced by targeting the riddance of the problem altogether.

Finally, you would need to be guided through a systematic process of discovering the causes and putting things right. The ideal solution would include for you to discover, reveal, and release yourself from the artificialities, the demons themselves, that have been inhibiting you.

It would restore, permanently, happiness that is native in you, which would accrue cumulatively, progressively placing more and more of it under your control. All of it giving you back a calm sense of peace and happiness you once knew but have somehow lost.

It would especially allow you to do the looking and interpreting and only guide you through the process rather than evaluate your observations for you. The conclusions would be yours and yours alone.

And, it wouldn’t take years, but hours or days with, in weeks or months, more potential recovered than you had previously imagined.

Overall, it would have to help you find the most important thing of all: YOU!

Doesn’t that sound like a better approach than years of grueling “talk therapy” and counseling, coping mechanisms or otherwise “living with” your innermost demons?

If only that ideal “therapy” existed…

But it does…

How do you turn your ‘inner demons’ into your ‘inner self’?

When demons turn you “inside out” and seem to take over control, what can you do other than obey them?

If you resolve to understand, not demons, but your mind itself, its mechanics, structure, purpose and ideal function, you will soon realize you not only don’t have to have issues with it but that your potential for happiness and optimum function in life is far greater than you ever imagined.

It is with this understanding that the other components of the “optimum therapy” begin to work their magic. By understanding them, and tracing effects back to their causes on your personal timeline, you are able to isolate the real problems and distinguish what’s really you from what isn’t. Achieving this, riddance becomes possible.

This ideal type of program, though it sounds as mystical and mythical as demons themselves, is actually as real as reality itself, and its results can be achieved in a relatively short time compared to years of “fighting” with it “therapeutically” and endlessly. It’s been around for more than 70 years helping people take back the happiness these so-called “demons” have buried.

It all starts with a manual that you can obtain and use to get educated on the purpose and function of the ideal mind, do a little self-assessment and get started on restoring your native happiness, that which has been buried under years of negative experience.

It includes metrics you can use to measure your progress and calculate the cumulative happiness that you have freed and restored from where it was previously entrapped.

Our Self-Counseling program features all of these optimum components and is closely supervised by a professional who is trained in this approach and who will guide you through it set-by-step, gain-by-gain, helping you recover progressively more of your own happiness.

Overall, it makes you more yourself.

Want to find out more about how to get started?

You can take the Master Your Mind Self-Test here to get a free assessment, or you can just call to inquire at (727) 216-5504 or email CommSuccess.Pam@gmail.com.

Wouldn’t it be worth a few minutes of your time to get back the potential that was once yours but has been stolen, blatantly, from your grips?

Don’t let the demons keep it. It was never theirs.

It belongs to you. Now you can take it back!

You become sad in the course of life. You were, at one time or another, happy.

The sadness becomes more or less “normal”. Life isn’t very enjoyable and certainly doesn’t feel like what “normal” should.

What do you do?

Because most people would “seek help” in this situation (counseling, therapy, etc), it may seem that their instinct is to change the condition and “feel better” in some way.

But, more usually, a desire burns for an answer to a primary question…

WHY?

Not knowing “WHY?” can be a more pressing issue than how to change it for the better.

But the answer to “WHY?” can vary depending on what you may consider “answers” to be. And in absence of logical, sound or reasonable ones, options become limited.

If, for instance, your dishwasher stops working, which would be a better approach to the situation?

1. Labeling it “Broken Dishwasher” and “getting along without it somehow”
2. Understanding how it’s supposed to work, finding what’s not working the way it should and restoring it to working order

It seems like a no-brainer, but the answer you choose would depend on the outcome you prefer or believe is even possible.

Should you desire to be tasked with hand-washing dishes as a way of “coping” or “dealing” with the problem, and do so for the rest of your days, choice #1 is the way to go. And if you’ve been told “dishwashers can’t be fixed” this may seem your only alternative.

But if you wish to have a properly-operating, optimally-functioning dishwasher to continue doing the dishes for you, restoring the convenience you once enjoyed, you’d have to go with choice #2 and get to the bottom of the issue.

The first thing that gives you any hope of repair, however, is first finding out WHY.

So you call in an expert, someone so familiar with the optimum workings of appliances that finding out ‘WHY?’ is a simple matter, and it’s as good as fixed.

Obviously the sensible choice, why would anybody otherwise choose the dead-end of a label when they can learn something about the way things should work and thereby discover the actual things that need repair?

Yet this is all that seems to be offered these days in response to the unhappiness and travail of life that everyday people experience. And, in absence of anything better, it can be easier to identify with a label than do nothing at all.

But, is there really nothing else that can be done?

Only in absence of these 5 basics of an optimal approach to the restoration of happiness…

What 5 Basic Requirements Comprise an Ideal Approach to Restoring Happiness?

To truly restore innate happiness, you would have to adhere to a few rules of thumb…

There would be 5 basic requirements you would need to resolve the problem and go from merely “stopping the sadness” to “recovering happiness”. And you can fulfill them by consulting the best-qualified person to give you advice or solutions: YOU!

Ultimately, when it comes to troubles of the mind, no one has a more direct look into yours than you. No one else can “see” in there and none are more qualified than you to interpret what comes to view, regardless of any challenges in adventuring to look.

Others who would help you can only help guide you through it.  But it comes down to you, in the end, to actually do the looking and applying these 5 requirements.

These 5, simple basics are best known and applied by you, without seeking any interpretation by others. And, while it may have been fairly obvious from our “broken dishwasher” example what the right approach may be, there are still 5 key factors you would need to follow:

1. Understanding the Natural Purpose and Function of Your Mind…

Did you ever notice this step gets skipped when it comes to human problems and unhappiness? Does anyone ever wonder what the ideal mind may be, or even what should be expected as its “normal” condition?

Knowing when things “aren’t normal”, have you ever considered what “normal” would be? If not, you’re not alone.

With “abnormalities” abuzz in social and professional circles and only methods of “dealing” or “coping” being offered in response, we’re led to one conclusion: These problems cannot be solved, only “lived with” a little more comfortably. Problems are permanent. And “abnormal” becomes normal.

Labeling dead-ends further investigation, and limits “solutions” to years of “talk therapy” or even a lifetime of taking best-advertised, prescribed medications. Hardly a riddance of any problem, let alone a restoration of a natural state of happiness.

But, regardless of all these abnormalities, what would “normality” be composed of? How SHOULD the human mind work?

An optimum approach would require starting out with an understanding of the purpose and function of an optimum mind to achieve any permanent result at all.

By gaining this understanding, some basic laws about it would become possible.

2. Differentiating Between Causes and Effects…

Mold in your house. Contractor called. Mold remediation job bought and paid for.

Mold gone… (for the moment)

Mold comes back. Repeat process.

Conclusion: “I guess we live in a “moldy house” (label)

But what if you investigated further and found out your roof was leaking in such a way that moisture was constantly seeping into the insulation inside your walls? (cause)

“Moldy House” as a diagnosis didn’t solve the problem. That’s because it’s really an effect.

The cause? Leaky roof.

Fix the leaky roof and ELIMINATE the mold problem for good. Then live in the comfort of a home that was designed to be mold-free and safe.

It’s no different with your own state of mind if you understand its optimum function.

If you’re inherently happy (and once were), and if you, at some point, became unhappy, one thing is for sure: something changed!

This is a problem of Cause and Effect. Effects can always be traced back to the reasons they happened. And you would need this as your basic guideline in investigating, a must for an optimum and ultimate solution.

This would block labeling, eliminate dead-ends and certainly improve the goal of the process…

3. Setting “Riddance” As a Better Goal Than “Relief”…

Relief? Temporary.

Riddence? Gone for good!

Understanding the first two points, it becomes instantly clear why “riddance” is better than temporary “relief” from a problem. You’re not exactly relieved if you constantly must “re-live” the unpleasantness of it all. So riddance takes its place as part of the optimum solution.

Understanding ideal mind function and sorting out causes and effects in your life is the difference between coping (living with it) and riddance (reclaiming your native happiness). The latter would be the key goal of an effective approach.

Restoring happiness includes riddance of the things that would debar you from it and recovery of progressively more inherent happiness that is natively yours.

This would allow for a very systematic approach to reaching that better goal…

4. Systematically Working Backward From Effects to Their Cause…

To have an optimum solution to restoring happiness, you’d have to have a way of getting around various confusions that can accumulate and build up over the years.

So many experiences in life, so many memories, so little rhyme or reason. And so many long-since-forgotten things you may have labeled “repressed” and decided were impossible to contact ever again, not to mention those things you avoid that are downright unpleasant to look at.

But a simple understanding of how “cumulative” your experiences are (especially traumatic or otherwise upsetting ones) opens the door to plotting a systematic retrace of their accrual. Accumulated and stacked up, they can even clog up memory to the point where you can’t seem to access them.

Our leaky roof example can be illustrative of the cumulative nature of minor problems accumulating over time into more major issues. As can our “broken dishwasher” scenario.

While the labels “Moldy House” and “Broken Dishwasher” offer no solutions, tracing the timeline of the life of those objects reveals the accumulation of wear and tear, minor malfunctions and maintenance failures, each minor aspect adding up to an imminent yet “mysterious” breakdown.

Understanding the basic nature of their proper function as well as the laws of cause and effect, you can systematically and easily find a source causing their problems.

This is actually what experts do. They understand the optimum function and so can spot and fix these issues quite easily.

A top expert has the goal of a permanent fix, understands and traces cause and effect, answers “WHY?” and so can be effective in repairing the issue for good.

This is the exact approach that would be needed to ideally resolve the happiness problem.

But who says, while working with one, you can’t be an expert too? You actually CAN!

5. An Expert Assisting YOU Through a Set Process…

For appliance or home repair, it’s easy. You don’t need to be an expert when there are trained specialists who can look over the problem and see it even better than your untrained eye.

But, as for the human mind, there is only one person who can view yours: YOU.

Ideally, if you were able to achieve the 4 conditions above, a little help and guidance through a systematic process of putting it all together would be in order. After all, some significances and nuances of the mind are so easy to miss, wouldn’t it be ideal to have someone help you look thoroughly and find what you may have otherwise overlooked?

As you are the only person who can have a front-row seat to view what is recorded in your mind, this guide would have to be someone who understood, respected and encouraged that, never to interpret but always to lead you to find your own, very personal answers.

You would need someone very familiar with the process and who is apprised of your situation in detail, but who would only use that as a guide to get you through this process; someone who understands that each person has their own, unique circumstances and that no two are the same.

This comprises the difference between “relief” and “riddance” and what an effective result would fundamentally require.

You could even go so far as to say that a “self-counseling” program would be a great start…

Self-Counseling Program That Helps Recover Happiness Otherwise Lost…

Labels are a dead-end approach leaving only coping and “living with it” to deal with the issue.

But, are the 5 requirements of an ideal approach possible?

Our Self-Counseling program certainly includes all 5 of them, covering:

1. PURPOSE OF THE MIND: You are issued a manual to follow which allows you to, first, understand the natural purpose and function of the human mind.
2. CAUSES AND EFFECTS: You are additionally guided through understanding what types of things can happen to you in life and the effects they may cause.
3. RIDDANCE: The goal of the process you follow in the manual is to rid you progressively of the things blocking your inherent positive emotions and abilities, recovering parts of you that you thought were lost. It’s not a “coping” method. It assists you to recover more of yourself and the inherent happiness that belongs to you.
4. SYSTEMATICALLY SEEKING CAUSE: Each part of the process has you examine individual traits and aspects, personalized to your life, (your thoughts, your experiences) and systematically helps you recover what was lost in each area.
5. EXPERT GUIDANCE: The entire process is supervised by an expert in the Self-Counnseling technique that strictly follows these guidelines.

How will you know the changes? Your issued manual actually comes with metrics you can use to tangibly measure your progress and how much “you” you recover in the process.

“Measurable change” is something you don’t see in other, would-be therapeutic approaches based on “cope” and temporary relief. Such metrics make it possible to track, predict and plan progress. This program empowers you to do that and methodically recover YOU.

To experience the optimum approach, it’s easy to get started. It begins with the Master Your Mind Self-Test you can do here or by calling (727) 216-5504 to talk with someone about it.

How much happiness is there to be recovered from your life? This program specifically and methodically helps you realize that. Find out now.

How long does it take to solve a personal problem?

Better question: How long SHOULD it take to solve that problem?

The answer varies depending on whether you’re looking at it or talking about it.

This may at first appear to be relative to the situation and type of problem and would seem to vary with the complexity of the problem itself. But the laws of cause and effect would say otherwise, as addressing one or the other gives a vastly different outcome.

Have you ever noticed that some problems seem to resolve easily while others feel more “eternal” in nature, going on for years with no solution in sight, the latter case being very common in today’s world?

This is only a difference, not in the size of the issue, but in the approach to handling it.

The lingering, apparently unsolvable problems are what everyone seems to be “talking about” in trying to solve them. Attempting to “talk it out” seems to be the go-to for at least feeling a little better for the moment. This is understandable because getting some relief is better than experiencing no change at all.

But, calmed for the moment, there the issue yet waits to be “triggered” again and cause stress, travail and generally unhappy states of mind. In other words, you’ll get relief from it but yet have to live with it, as opposed to finding the “trigger” behind it and ridding yourself of it.

It’s a vast difference between relief from something and riddance of it altogether.

Many people go on for years talking about their recurring difficulties to friends or even endure decades of “counseling” with the aim of feeling better or coping and otherwise (let’s face it) living with their issues, troubles, difficulties and problems.

But is there a better way? Does it have to take years? Will we ever get over things totally? Can you recover happiness that seems to have been replaced by troubled states of mind?

Not only is it possible, but there is a native sense of happiness everyone has that can be recovered and unleashed if you understand ONE KEY DIFFERENCE between talking about and looking at problems.

It all unravels simply if you know this…

What you need to know to solve any problem…

Let’s start with a simple analogy as to the difference between talking and looking.

Fred is 45. In his younger years he loved eating spicy foods but now ends up with digestive distress when he so indulges. He continues to eat his favorite foods and takes digestive aids and relief meds to soothe the problem. It becomes his new normal.

On further investigation, it is found that Fred has a deficiency of 3 or 4 vitamins that is causing his digestive system to malfunction and is further causing some issues including his digestive intolerance for spicy foods.

After years of taking relief aids, he supplements his deficiencies, his digestive system starts to work the way it should and, voila! He can eat spicy foods once again.

In this example, Fred was first “talking” to the problem itself. His body was telling him not to eat spicy foods and taking relief meds was his way of communicating back. And the “conversation” went on for years.

But, “looking” a bit beyond the surface manifestations he found the actual issue and addressed that. And that got rid of the problem altogether.

Relief versus riddance, talking versus, looking, these are the same kind of thing.

It all comes down, first, to UNDERSTANDING that there is a cause, way back at the beginning of any effect. Tracing things to a source, an origin, a cause of an issue, is what real change is made of.

Why looking beats talking: cause and effect!

The laws of cause and effect are at play everywhere in life, and many of us use them successfully in everyday living.

Auto mechanics and technicians study in school, not about broken cars, but how cars are supposed to operate. They use their knowledge of the structure, function and purpose of the design of cars to discover the source of the problems when they occur and fix those issues.

In our example about Fred, he visited a doctor who was trained not in digestive issues, but in how the digestive and other body systems are supposed to operate by design and so can diagnose and treat digestive issues by finding their real cause.

Computer tech, appliance repair, any problem-solution-driven activity is based on this model.

So why aren’t personal issues approached in this same way?

This is the difference between discussion of issues and problem-solving, the difference between talking about issues and looking at their cause.

Just as the auto mechanic should know how a “working car” optimally functions, shouldn’t we know our own full potential, the potential of the mind and how much happiness with which we are natively endowed? If we knew the ideal function of our minds, wouldn’t we be better at pinpointing what’s actually wrong instead of just talking about it endlessly?

When you focus on understanding the ideal, the current situation starts to unfold rather rapidly. And years of “talking it out” often become minutes or hours of locating cause and restoring native happiness and enjoyment of life.

So how do you do this?

A real counseling program starts with YOU as the counselor…

In the end, no matter who you approach for help in solving problems, they are only helping YOU solve the problem. Yes, that means you are the counselor, ultimately.

Just talking, you’re simply communicating the problem to another, but not really looking at it, examining it and connecting it up in any way to any cause, oblivious of a source of it earlier in time. And, per the laws of cause and effect, there will always be one.

Anyone helping you can, at best, be a guide and a stable hand to hold to get you through it. And this is helpful and often needed, very essential in many cases.

What would you need for an effective counseling program?

It’s pretty clear that, fundamentally, you would need to have,

1. a basic understanding of the mind,
2. the knowledge that every effect has a cause,
3. a desire for riddance over coping with it,
4. a set process that gets you to look instead of talk,
5. someone to supervise and ensure you find answers.

Most of all you would need it to be a process that provided a very specific result, a positive, permanent change leaving you progressively happier.

The Self-Counseling program we offer is based on workable methods developed over 75 years ago and which have been helping people, per their reports, make significant and profound changes in their happiness levels, ways of dealing with life, competence, communication level and general success in business and in life.

It is closely supervised by an expert counselor and includes a guide you can use to address very precise areas. Personalities and even reaction times have been shown to improve from this. In fact, the metrics in the guide even allow you to track your progress related to these areas.

Interestingly enough, solving the troubles and difficulties of life is the least of what many are saying it has done for them. Imagine recovering the happiness and enjoyment of life you thought you lost. How much better would problem-solving be in that state of mind? And, would you have as many problems in that condition?

That’s up to you to find out and answer for yourself, and this Self-Counseling program makes it possible for you to do just that, with the assistance of an expert.

Start with the Master Your Mind Self Test here or inquire about Self-Counseling directly by calling (727) 216-5504.

Short answer?

Not only can it, but it does. And, when it happens, it goes 1-2-3.

So, yes, the original love and affection can indeed be restored.

All for knowing the basics of what real “love” is all about when it comes to marriages and relationships.

The beauty of it is that, with these basics, it can be so successful that it’s possible to prevent losing love in the first place. After all, if you could know the ABCs of this thing called love, you can maintain it, repair it and ensure it stays.

Testament to this is the multitude of great marriages lasting decades, the most famous of which is the longest on record, 90 years, set by Karam and Kartari Chand in 2015.

Couples like this have a secret. The only problem is that it’s so secret even THEY don’t know what it is. They just know what they have is different from other couples who don’t have “it”, whatever “it” is.

Wouldn’t it, after all, be of benefit to know what those secrets are?

The good news is it’s not only possible to know, but by applying this knowledge you can maintain the “perfect” relationship you envy in others or repair one that is “broken”.

To begin to understand the “secret” all you need to do is discover three simple-to-understand categories it breaks down into.

1. The first and most important category of relationship repair…

No, it’s not candy, chocolates or diamonds. It isn’t couples getaways. It isn’t apologies. It’s not mindfulness, gratitude or compromise. It isn’t “he-said-she-said” nor is it finding each other’s “faults” and attempting to correct them in each other.

Some of these may offer some benefits. But they by no means get to the heart of the matter.

It’s something way more fundamental but very powerful.

What is it?…

COMMUNICATION.

Now, you may at first think this is too obvious, overly simplified and far too elementary. But that is because you may not have grasped the actual meaning of what true communication is or gained a concept of what it is capable of.

For, knowing THIS, communication can not only keep you out of trouble, you’ll instantly know how to repair it; and, having repaired it, be able to fix the other two key components and therefore recover what love was there in the first place.

To achieve this, you’ll need to do three things:

1. Understand the basic formula of communication, its component parts and come to an understanding of how to use it effectively. Rest assured, most people are far from this. You’re definitely not alone if you and your partner are lacking in this area.
2. Put this understanding into direct application and practice. It takes practice and it can be learned and drilled until you can communicate effectively.
3. Discover how communication gets blunted, cut, warped and otherwise “messed with” in the first place. There are a few basic reasons this happens and knowing them reveals how to protect your bond of communication with your partner as well as fix it when it’s “broken” and nonexistent.

As you can tell already, this would be a powerful change in and of itself, and there are yet two more components to observe!

2. The second component of successful relationships is second to none in its power…

With good communication, you can turn the page in any relationship, romantic, familial, social, business or otherwise. And this opens the door to GETTING ONTO THE SAME PAGE, the second, very crucial component of relationships.

Now, you may think it impossible to “agree on everything” and may have even been told that disagreement is “healthy” or that “opposites attract” when it comes to success.

But opposites have more than their fair share of split-ups too.

By “on the same page” and “agreement” we’re talking about more than just agreeing on certain “issues”. What about the foundation of a marriage or relationship itself? What about the basic agreements of why to be together in the first place?

And where circumstances may have changed, what of the new ones going forward?

Though it’s said that opposites attract, does it say “opposites last” or that they endure in the long run? Celebrity marriages alone may have convinced us otherwise.

But what of those couples who work together from the same source of passion or purpose? Having things in common in ideology, philosophy and purpose are important too.

Common ground can always be found somewhere, enough to make a relationship work from the start or repair where it’s broken.

This is very specifically done and often requires a little supervision, but if the prior step of communication is handled, this becomes an easier proposition. And you can get onto the same page where you weren’t before.

3. The final factor brings everything (and everyone) together…

What is the difference between the couple holding the world record for the longest marriage and two partners on the rocks, on the verge of divorce?

Isn’t it obvious?

The first couple is working together to win a game while the latter two are at odds, opponents playing opposite sides of the game, against each other where someone wins and the other loses.

But does anyone really win when it comes to breakups and divorce?

To safeguard against this or recover from it, you really need to know the specifics of what happens to cooperative endeavors and puts people at odds with each other who were basically communicating and agreeing prior!

Marital partners, business partners or even international relations, this is vital to success.

As you can see, the prior two components of COMMUNICATION and BEING ON THE SAME PAGE have a great deal to do with this last factor of teammates vs opponents.

Though there ARE specific barriers that escape most people’s attention that can ruin a “team sport” (so to speak), the good news is that they can be learned overcome and set back to right.

What REAL marriage counseling is made of has to do with these three components and a keen understanding of their mechanics in making or breaking a group (marriage, relationship, etc)

Can you imagine what’s possible if you knew THOSE secrets and could apply them?

You actually can…

1-2-3, Marriage and relationship counseling that works, simply because…

If you know how a house is built, what components make a strong, durable and liveable home, you can not only maintain one, but you’ll know instantly when something is wrong. And if you know a thing or two about the process it takes to maintain or repair it, you certainly can keep a house in order and in excellent shape.

Shouldn’t it be that way with your marriage? Shouldn’t relationships be this definable?

Who ever said they weren’t?

Only the people who didn’t know what a true marriage, a real, loving relationship consisted of. And, according to the breakup and divorce statistics of the day, it’s got to be at least half!

With communication, you have a channel where ideas can be exchanged. If you know the properties of proper communication you can get through.

If you can communicate, you certainly can be on the same page. And that leads to lots of agreement and cooperation which would mean more team play and less opposition or competition.

And, even when these fail, it’s like having the road map back to where you started. You start to know what’s wrong when something isn’t right and you can therefore fix it before it becomes a problem. This is what those successful couples don’t know they know.

We have a counseling program that does just this and because it is so effective (based on real fundamentals) it can save years of “couples therapy” and wasted time and effort.

One recent couple repaired a marriage they have been trying to fix for years in just seven days uncovering these fundamentals in their relationship and there are numerous other stories like that.

If it is at all possible to restore love and affection that you have long since lost, don’t you deserve a shot at finding out about it and possibly sorting it out?

You do. And your chance is here and now!

It just starts with a reach-out from you…

For help with your relationship or to help anyone else you know with theirs, reach out via text or call at (727) 216-5504. Or just email commsuccess.pam@gmail.com for a free discussion and assessment of the situation.

For further reading on the subject, check out this other article about “love on the rocks” and how to approach repairing it.

We’ve heard all the cliches, seen all the rom-coms and heard the rumors about “love on the rocks” and the “rocky roads” that relationships and marriages seem to inevitably hit.

We’ve watched the rise and fall of celebrity relationships and heard all the gossip in the media about it.

We’ve known some people who have had trouble or “hit the skids” in their relationship and have seen all manner of couples issues, some from afar while others a little closer to home.

We may have even had a few of those experiences ourselves, past or present, and some may expect them in the future. Still, others have lost faith in relationships altogether.

There were over 600 thousand divorces in the US a couple of years back in testament to it all, and one report that same year revealed that 50 percent of marriages resorted to counseling.

It’s ironic that an unbreakable foundation portrayed as a “bedrock” of love and affection can end up “on the rocks” and broken, yet we see examples of it every day.

Does this mean we’re doomed from the moment we take interest in another? Is it over before it began? Do we really “don’t” when we say “I do”?

It turns out that the answer depends not upon endlessly trying to figure out what makes relationships fail, but on what makes an ideal one succeed. Knowing the components of an optimum relationship, you have all you need to know to succeed and even what to do when you drift into rockier waters.

Find out the components of a successful relationship and problems in those relationships become obvious. More importantly, they become simple to handle without need for years of endless “he-said-she-said” counseling.

After all, which would you rather know, a method of coping with a broken relationship, or the secret to building a solid, unbreakable one in the first place?

The choice is clear, but what is the secret to a successful marriage or relationship?

What keeps marriages and relationships off the rocks?

There is really only one guiding principle you can state about this…

If it were true that you’re doomed from the start and things are “over before they begin”, 100% of relationships or marriages would fail.

Period.

Clearly, 100% don’t fail. Whether it’s immediately apparent or not, even you have likely seen some successful ones.

Perhaps you’ve even wondered, “What makes THEM so special? How did THEY make it work when others can’t seem to?” “Why do some succeed while others fail?”

Just as an expert navigator never runs a ship into shallow, rocky waters, neither does someone who knows what successful relationships consist of end up “on the rocks”.

But who knows all about the anatomy of a successful relationship?

The short answer? EVERYONE!

The “secret” components are so obvious, you already ‘know’ them…

The foremost surprise when you restore a couple’s successful relationship is that its makeup turns out to be something they always knew. So obvious they never would have suspected.

In a word? Communication…

I mean, “duh!”, right? Anyone knows this.

But why do couples start out with a lot of it and shatter on the rocks for the lack of it?

What makes communication die?

NOW you’re talking about the real stuff of how to fix a relationship.

What happens to ‘smooth-sailing’ communication that makes it run aground?

While there are endless combinations of possible communication breakdowns, there are only a few simple, specific types of them that cause the rock-solid communication barriers that smash to bits any hopes of a successful union.

While many proclaimed relationship experts cite things like disagreements, misunderstanding, jealousy, trust, compromise, infidelity, and compatibility being the “reasons” for failure, seldom do examining these or finding these faults in a partner ever produce the result of a happy marriage.

Nor does the opinion or evaluation given by a third-party “expert” seem to make things any better. Has finding out YOU are at fault, guilty or in the wrong ever made you feel better toward another? This, in the end, can often be little better in result than arguing.

Have you ever felt great about having lost an argument?

Besides, weren’t arguments the problem with the relationship in the first place?

All relationships started with some good communication…

This is a given. Take any relationship or marriage. There was definitely some mutual love and admiration, affinity and even adoration of one for the other in both directions.

But why stop communicating if it is already so amazing?

Here is where “communication-breaking” factors enter. This is what enshrouds the problem in mystery. We know we decrease or stop communication altogether but, what specifically would make that happen?

The answer to that is an even more adventurous undertaking than the marriage itself!

We use several manuals in our counseling that define and explain these in great detail.

Without them, you’re steering a ship through waters with rocks unseen in your path.

These “rocks” are ever present but can be predicted and avoided if known about.

They have to do with the basic definitions and purposes of marriages and relationships. They generally include things like changes in agreements and circumstances, changes in direction of purpose and especially agreements broken (however subtly) by BOTH parties and not one or the other.

They even include outside influences from others not recognizable by either party.

The list goes on but the base understanding of what made the relationship strong and successful in the first place is really the key to revealing all else.

But these occur in very specific ways and require exactness of process on how to locate them. Once located they alleviate.

Counseling that focuses on these specific factors is bound for success and is why we have had so many people fix their marriages, with full love and affection restored, in a much shorter time than years of “couples therapy” one uncomfortable session at a time.

This is the approach that works in the face of even numerous failed attempts. The previous tries failed not because of destiny or incompatibility, but because of a lack of finding the true cause of the breakdown. Neither “living with it” or “coping strategies” work in the long run.

Locating precisely the “rocks” and how couples end up there does!

Love on the rocks, or rock-solid love of your life?

It’s always the choice. But it’s clear which is the better one.

Even couples who have thought they “grew too far apart” or “want different things” or have “changed” since the original relationships have found the hidden factors which were the actual cause and suddenly realized the relationship wasn’t doomed or over.

For most of them, a new era of their relationship has begun, with more love restored than had been originally present in many cases. These are the reports we get back from people who have solved their marital difficulties in as little as a week using this process.

The point is that, until these specific factors are isolated and discovered, you’re going to end up with results like strategic coping, blame-placing, fault-finding and “compromise” as the only “solutions” in therapy.

While you could call this a “success” of sorts, why settle when you can find the exact deviations from the true communication that once existed and restore it?

Our marriage counseling program does just that and doesn’t take years of therapy to accomplish it. It sorts out how things ended up by tracing them back to where they began and looking for the specific changes which steered them astray.

A ship may smash into millions of pieces on rocky shores, unrepairable, but “love on the rocks” can be restored to all of its original splendor, simply, effectively, and easily in a much more reasonable amount of time.

It’s happening every day. Can it happen for you?

Only if you’re willing to take a look at these things.

Are you?

It just starts with a call or email…

For help with your “rocky” relationship, or to inquire about helping someone you know repair theirs, reach out via text or call at (727) 216-5504 or email at commsuccess.pam@gmail.com for a free discussion and assessment of the situation.

Carrying extra baggage when you travel is no picnic.

It’s cumbersome. It’s heavy. It’s downright annoying.

It weighs you down. It slows you up. It makes forward progress a challenge.

But carrying it is not nearly as frustrating as when your bags get lost. And the more bags you’re carrying, the more you have to lose when the luggage gets misplaced.

It’s no wonder that so many people blame problems “traveling” through life on what they call “emotional baggage” they have in tow (or at least accuse others of carting it about).

It’s something people seem to instinctively recognize in others and often in themselves, but does emotional baggage really exist in fact?

And, if it does and we know we’re carrying it, why is it that the problems we have as a result of it don’t seem to solve?

Why do we have to lug around these perceived carry-ons, rolling suitcases and even trunks worth of emotional travail in the first place?

The answer lies not in what baggage you know you’re carrying, but in what baggage has been left behind, long since forgotten.

It’s your “LOST emotional baggage” that weighs people down and it is THAT which really needs to be found.

What you don’t know won’t hurt you, right? Guess again…

We’ve all heard it, even said it, but seldom have we considered what we’re really saying.

If you didn’t know something was wrong with the wiring in your house, that could cause a disaster that costs you everything. If you didn’t realize someone who seems like a friend is secretly plotting against you, this would be a sort of dangerous situation too.

Numerous examples exist proving this common phrase to be anything but true.

But, why does this matter when it comes to emotional baggage?

It’s the hidden things that are always the most dangerous.

When it comes to health, getting a regular check-up can keep you in the know about troubles that may lie ahead so you can get on top of things. It’s no different with routine maintenance on your car. Routine diagnostics and maintenance can keep you ahead of any potential, costly damage down the road.

With “emotional baggage”, the things people tend to consider to be their “real problems”, you run into a similar situation with this difference: there is other “baggage” that’s been lost!

But can it be found?

How can LOST ’emotional baggage’ be found?

The real way to find lost emotional baggage is simple…

First, you need to understand what it is.

Dropping the “baggage” metaphor for a moment, realize we’re talking about trauma, loss, travail and upsets of the past, ones not that we recall easily, but ones which have been forgotten, on top of which all the obvious upsets have been accumulating.

These are the ones you remember. These are the ones you carry around and claim as your “baggage” and lug around endlessly. Ones that seem like you should be able to let go but can never seem to.

This is all you need to understand to begin to uncover what’s keeping that baggage following you around, weighing you down and stopping you from living your highest potential and being the best version of you!

Knowing this opens the door to discover it.

Now that you know what the target is, all you need is a way to find it.

And there is an exact and precise way to do just that…

Reclaiming lost baggage allows you to finally reduce or get rid of it…

Through very specific self-counseling techniques, these forgotten, hidden incidents of the past can actually be located and you can be unburdened of the force they seem to have.

The good news is they only have power over you BECAUSE they are hidden. They only keep upsets in play in real time because they are hiding in the past. And, once recovered by very specific, easy steps, relief from them is at hand.

They cease to have power once revealed.

Finding your “lost emotional baggage” is not only possible, but it is the key to stop carrying around the hurt of the past to feel, act, live and do better in the present.

And even enjoy life for a change!

You have potential far beyond what you ever thought and you can recover it if you just know specifically what to look for.

Aimless years of “therapy” and talking about the obvious, surface problems, that “emotional baggage” you think is the real trouble, while may provide a little momentary relief here and there,  really gets you nowhere.

Want to find what “baggage” you may have lost?

Take the master your mind self-test here and find out what your true potential is.

And take your first step on a journey without the weight of baggage bearing down on you.

It’s an age-old question in the backs of the minds of adults but is something most seem to accept as a simple fact of life.

And it’s not only that the happiness fades. It’s outright expected to occur in future generations of children when, in adolescence and adulthood, “childish” becomes a derogatory remark.

Listen to this article on audio here:

But, why should the imagination and vigor of youth fade away, even in memory, when these would be quite useful to most adults? Everyone could use some youthful vigor in the navigation of life, couldn’t they?

Some do retain it, actually, and they stand out because they seem rare. They inspire us and we revere them for this quality.

But, is it so rare as to be available to only a fortunate few?

It wouldn’t be such an issue if it ended with faded memories of the pleasant feelings of childhood. But, somehow we become convinced that, lacking pleasure and happiness in the present, childhood itself is to blame.

The focus is diverted to the poor experiences of early years and memories of childhood become darkened by trauma, loss, upset and travail, when in fact the happiness of childhood often outweighs the few key traumas and upsets of that period of life.

Is it possible to recover your past happy and pleasurable experiences that have been converted to disinterest and cynicism?

It not only is, but it’s actually very easy to do and as simple as recalling what you did yesterday.

How do past upsets get enough power to dominate the present?

It’s become a popular idea to “put the past behind you” or simply “let go of the past” in trying to lead a happy life now. This implies, however, that the past is something to avoid.

But, would this be so if the past was strewn with recallable, relivable happiness? Would anyone want to let go of or put behind them a past of joy, happiness and pleasure? Would you try to avoid a memory of winning the championship or discard one of time spent with your best friend?

Those memories, though faded and long since forgotten, are still there, merely hidden from view. And the way to recover them is the answer to how bad experiences get their power.

You see, it goes like this…

Upsets of the past (traumas, loss, injury, etc) occur during happier periods of life. These, in a way, “attach” themselves to those memories and accumulate over the years.

If you were to take inventory of the experiences of any period of life, you would find that the majority of them were times when you were motivated and enjoying happy pursuits. Especially in childhood, there is a lot of positive “energy” and imagination involved and much of the joy was pretty intense at the time.

When traumas interrupt these periods, even a single one, they can become “attached” to the other experiences and dominate recollection of the past.

Through a cloud of past unpleasantness, it can become difficult to experience happiness in the present, that which was natively inherited as your birthright.

But the pleasure and happiness still underlie it all, and gaining that back is way more valuable than recalling all the trauma in the world.

How can you recover the happiness of childhood and use it in your present adulthood?

This is very simple, actually, and it starts with an ability you natively have.

It’s an ability that allows you to uncover past pleasure which has become blocked, occluded or buried underneath pain and upset and brings it back into view to be reexperienced with the full original emotion and sensation of the experience.

It’s being achieved by many as we speak and has been for some 70+ years now.

Many who have experienced recalling even one moment of pleasure from their past is something to behold. It’s amazing to see the miraculous change in people when they follow the simple but precise steps to accomplish it.

In the guided Self-Counseling program we offer, there is a manual that directs you through a process of simple steps to observe certain past experiences. Through the progress of the program, more and more past pleasure is recovered and made available to reexperience.

And there is your answer to whether or not childhood happiness is available in adulthood. It not only CAN be recovered but it IS being recovered by many every day.

It can be yours. All you have to do is be willing to look. It’s there to be found and you CAN find it!

Start now on your journey toward recovery of childhood happiness with the Master Your Mind Self-Test.

Request Your Self-Test Here

The Holidays, special occasions and significant events are wonderful times to bring loved ones together to celebrate.

But if loved ones are so truly “loved”, why is it that, sometimes, they disagree? Why can feuds arise from otherwise happy occasions? Why might people tend toward their lesser feelings toward other family members?

And, for that matter, how do you fix them when they seem so “fixed” in place? Can they ever be resolved?

The apparent explanations of “who did what to whom” and “what happened between mom and grandma” are of little value. After all, do those explanations ever lead to a resolution and a restoration of love and kindness?

With so many years of discord that can happen between relatives, it seems no resolution is at hand, and Holidays can continue for decades to be unpleasant and a catalyst for arguments.

The real answers, however, are not found in the problems between loved ones. The resolution of these problems lies within something that comes naturally to all human beings.

Goodwill, love, compassion, all of these things are actually native, and these hold the answer both to why some families fight and how to restore peace.

The Holidays CAN be happy, even where unhappiness has lived before if you understand this…

Before unhappiness was once happiness, but then this happened…

Whether during the holidays with entire families, the course of a marriage, a friendship or even an alliance or partnership, there were always good intentions and warm feelings toward others that forged the relationship into existence.

But things happen. And, on the surface, it seems pretty apparent what the reasons may be. Someone said something upsetting, one person did the “unthinkable” and angered another, and misgivings and grudges tend to build, lightly at first, but develop as years pass.

Previous feelings of goodness seem a faded, distant memory, occluded by current upset.

And so fights occur.

Factor in the Holidays, their stress and even the blues that can be associated with such times of year and you can begin to understand why such things occur.

The problem isn’t a group problem. It is an individual problem, as families are groups of individuals.

Each person has their own accumulation of loss, hurt, injury, pain and upset throughout their entire life, “haunting” them like Dickens’s “Ghost of Christmas Past” mentioned in the previous article “Holiday Blues, Stress Explained: Scrooge Has the Answer”.

This may be fine on your own, but then you get into a group situation and the past starts to come much more into play. Multiply your experiences times the number of relatives in the room and you can see where things start to break down!

Holiday triggers…

It’s one thing to walk around with unpleasant past experiences, and another altogether to have them triggered.

The environment itself can be such a trigger. A song or movie that makes you feel oddly emotional. A passage you read that made you sad, or news that made you uncomfortable.

But, get together with people who have been close to you throughout all of your experiences, those who have unpleasantries in their own past, and everyone tends to “trigger” each other.

And family feuds are born.

All out of what was once love and togetherness.

But is it all really necessary? Is there another way?

How to un-feud a family feud and restore happiness…

Can you capture the original love that existed before all this feuding? Can you put an end to the fighting and start feeling happy again?

Yes, it is possible. Happiness can be recovered for you and for the family too!

Families have feuded since the beginning of time, it seems, a fact that has become the norm in our culture. And it sometimes seems expected that when families assemble, they are going to argue.

Old grudges, past upsets and just plain ornery inability to get along become amplified when relatives are gathered together, each family member contributing his or her individual misgivings, unspoken grievances and the like.

But, understanding that love and happiness preceded all of this is the answer to undoing group upsets of all kinds. And not just around the Holidays.

By actually recalling and revealing certain past experiences, you can begin to recover the happiness natural to you, and so can others you love and wish to help.

And it isn’t just trauma that you will be recalling.

Buried beneath the fights, some very pleasant experiences can be found too! And recalling them can be joyful and restore a sense of happiness.

How is it done?

Our self-counseling program gives you a guide to finding the right types of things to recall which will help diffuse uncomfortable emotions and recover positive, happy experiences to help restore an overall sense of happiness in the present.

It’s quite a simple program that starts with you taking the 5-minute self-test, the results of which will help us recommend where you should start and to supervise your progress through the self-counseling portion of the program, ensuring you get the best result possible.

The rest will be up to you to find, under our close supervision and guidance.

It is a journey of self-discovery and recovery of happiness many people think has all but disappeared forever. People do recover it and you can too.

Request Your Self-Test Here

Everyone knows the feeling. For some, it’s stress, while for others it’s a mild inconvenience, and for still others, it’s either anxiety or straight-up depression, the dreaded “Holiday Blues” we hear so much about.

It “ghosts” you in all your activities of work and life, “running in the background” where it doesn’t seem to at other times of the year. Or at least you don’t notice it.

So, what is it about this time of year that seems to affect people in this way, especially a time which is intended to bring joy and cheer?

Why do people get blue, stressed or even withdrawn during what songs have called “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”?

And, if it’s simply the time of year that’s the problem, how come so many people react so differently to it?

The answer lies within Charles Dickens’s “A Christmas Carol” and the story of four ghosts that visit Mr Scrooge, particularly the Ghost of Christmas Past that haunts his present. Even Scrooge experiences heightened stress at this time as he manifested in his “Bah Humbug!” attitude.

Just as Scrooge was able to change his demeanor and his entire life, so can it be remedied for you, all on your own with some “self-counseling” you can do to discover and self-handle what is keeping you from enjoying the Holidays and Life in general too!

And here’s how that happens…

What the past has to do with the present determines the future…

All this talk about “ghosts” from of past is just fiction, right? Or so it would seem…

But, metaphorically speaking, it is pretty real for people to have “ghosts” of the past, shadows of darker, deeply forgotten days “haunting” them in the present.

It is also may be very real to you that certain things in your environment can “trigger” these past experiences providing some degree of torment in the present and future.

The Holidays are a very common trigger of the past.

If you’ve ever watched a movie and been moved to tears or had an overall feeling of grief or sadness, you have undoubtedly experienced it. While movies can be moving, the degree of it is in the eyes of the beholder and what past experiences they have.

And that is the real “Ghost of Christmas Past”. It isn’t so much a spirit floating around and talking to you. It’s more of a shadow of a reaction you’re having in the present based on the forgotten past.

How the future can be changed…

It’s common sense that if you knew the future, you could change it. But did you realize that a look into the past can change it as well?

Scrooge’s epiphany didn’t start after he saw the last ghost. He began seeing the shadows that made him a miser in the present by looking at past loves lost, days ended and youthful ambition and interest having faded to barely an ember. And it moved him.

He was then able to look at his present and understand his way of being. Shown very specific moments of his past, previously hidden from his view, he was able to understand his present. He was then able to see not one but TWO futures.

One lay before him in his present state, a grim, dismal one if he continued to suffer, and the other was a bright, happy, new future he could create having rid himself of all the losses and trauma that stole from him the life he once had.

And that’s the entire point.

What can you do, right now, on your own to transform your Holiday and life experience?

The answer is simple.

But it doesn’t involve just “trying to remember” any bad experiences you may have had.  Just as Ebeneezer needed to be pointed in a specific direction to view experiences he had long since forgotten, so do you need some direction to recall a few things that really count.

The good news is that it doesn’t just include trauma or uncomfortable experience, but moments of pleasure as well. In fact, these pleasure moments are perhaps the most therapeutically valuable.

Charles Dickens’s story of Scrooge’s plight is actually quite accurate when looked at metaphorically. It parallels this concept of “recovering yourself” in a way. What you’re looking to do is not vanquish pain, but get back to yourself, an inherently happy person.

You can be happy where happiness has seemed to all but disappear, even if not chronically, only occurring periodically, especially around the Holidays.

The Self-Counseling Program That Can Get You Started

Obviously, issues such as these vary from person to person, with no two being the same. All of them need equal help however and have them for a similar reason, these “ghosts” of the past that are below your awareness

And as they are a very personal thing, it’s good to take a good look for yourself before discussing it with another.

That is what our self-counseling program is all about. It involves a manual you can follow to start to uncover very specific parts of your past. Some may be sad and uncomfortable, but others are bright and cheerful and,, bring past joy into the present, replacing the pain that has become associated with it with laughter and happiness.

It is recommended that you first take the 5-minute self-test, the results of which will help us recommend where to start and to supervise your progress through the self-counseling portion of the program, ensuring you get the best result.

Request Your Self-Test Here

After that, you will be given the opportunity to get hold of the guide and workbook that will guide you on your journey, lightly and fully aware, into the past to recover the best parts of you and bring them into the present.

Take the self-test now and see what areas you may need to address.

There is hope for the future if you fix the present. This is the program designed to do just that.